Monday, October 22, 2018

My Grab - I love my job

maybe my family or friends think im abit idiotic or innocent.
talking to strangers and take one of them as my real friend.
yesyes I get that you are worried, but no im not an idiot, I am always alert being with strangers, I observe them all the time. I love you, and yes i will be careful muackxx.
erm i can only say, I have fetched approx 80 passengers so far.
and out of all of them, there is only one who I requested to follow his insta and be each other's friend.
why i drive grab, i love meeting people.
all kind of people, be it silent type, those who only wanted sit behind and chill and have their own space.
be it lengzai, lenglui (i fetched koreans...so lengluis okay).
I love meeting people who like sharing.
just like the nepals, who shared about Aamir Khan newest movie - Thugs of Hindostan.
The story is about the seizure of the India land from the British.
His english is not good, but I can feel his sincere sharing, I can understand him.
Sometimes, to be honest, foreigners (especially nepals, indonesians, singporeans-mind you all singaporeans i met, they are super kind and helpful when I was abit lost in my direction on my 2nd/3rd day of grab) as compared to the locals.
Locals are mostly silent, they just treat me as DRIVER. Yes their chauffeur.
maybe 30% of them are willing to talk to me, other than that, they prefer to have their privacy, and yes I respect them.

Yes, my family might think I am too innocent.
But sorry, humans are the last species I trust.
I trust humans 50%, yes be them my family, my closest ones, my bffs.
I trust them 50%, yes sometimes I trust those newly meet people even more than my family, believe it or not.
Coz, my family doesnt understand me and some friends i meet just recently, they get me without needing me to explain, to clarify. THEY JUST GET ME.
but no i dont trust them too.
I trust only myself.
I dont talk to all passengers coz I can sense their mood, their mentality level, whether they are fake or real or sincere or evil, so far 80, all are kind.
They are super kind and never complain about me, I love them they love me too.
Mutual respect.
I share my music, if chinese, I chose jay chou/JJ Lin..
if malay/indians, I switch to english songs.
I just want my passengers to chill and relax, have some naps.
If they watching videos, I will turn down the volume.
If they are willing to talk, I will lagi turn down... Coz I love to talk.
Hello I was silent for goddamn 365 days.
I need to talk to survive.
But only to the right people.
talking to wrong people will cause me depression. I need to protect myself.

I trust myself 100%
Another species I trust is DOG, DOLPHIN or CAT?
I love DOG the most.
I trust animals 100%.

Thats all I wanna share in case you think im some stupid/innocent girl who talks to everyone, who entertains everyone, who layan everyone.
NO, I only talk to people whom I'm interested in, who I love, who I think they are worthy, who I think they have brain.
I will be ULTRA LANSI TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME, TO MAKE SURE THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE THEM.
Brainless/stupid/lansi/dirty-minded/shallow people,who always judge people based on their skin/face/blaba instead of the soul,inner side,pure heart, and always criticising instead of encouraging NOPE, I will share the "Lily Allen's - F You". I dont give a f to people who judge.
I love the nepals/foreign workers, they might be not rich bcs of their poor situation in their original country, thats why they travel far away to Malaysia and doing the jobs we refuse to do.
Yes, they are not rich in terms of money, but seriously, they are richer in minds than most of the locals. My sincere opinion after meeting so many of them.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

HI

Hi my dear blog
sorry that i left for such a long period
i just forgot to vent out my mood and always write what people wanna read
always afraid of exposing my inner self
i started writing diary with my small notebooks since 13.
i had many diaries
until you appear - Blogger.
I switched from handwritten to you bcs writing here is FASTER.
and blog makes it colorful.

My motto is always:
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

LIFE GOES ON

So i vent out my feelings here since 2008....
until i got attention from ppl who always read my blog
until I always have to ANSWER.
bcs they worry me when I wrote "NEGATIVE / SAD" moments sometimes.


THAT's WHEN  I CHANGED MY CONTENT.

I start to less express my inner thought/feeling...
and I forgot I still had my diary.
I am used to BLOG.

Then i switched to DAYRE

But still, i dare not express too much negativity bcs my friends will be worried.
I started to THINK before WRITE
instead writing what I think.

That's WHEN DIARY LOST ITS PURPOSE

I gradually changed from FULL-MINDED to EMPTY-MINDED.
COZ I THOUGHT & CONSIDERED TOO MUCH.
I FORGOT TO LISTEN TO MY HEART.
I CHOSE MY BRAIN,
It bcm empty at last.
I lost myself.


ANYWAY, I finally started my handwritten diary again few days ago.
I have so much thoughts & feelings to shareeeeeeeee, I am back to myself again.
A BRAVE LLX :)

IT WAS GOD DAMN GOOOOOOOD

Seriously we have right to be sad/angry/anything, this is not called NEGATIVE / EMO.
HUMAN WAS BORN TO CRY FIRST
AND LAUGH
SINCE WHEN WE HAVE TO FORCE OURSELVES TO BE HAPPY, POSITIVE, OR FOLLOW THE WORLD RULES?????
Nope, I was once lost.

BUT I HAD DECIDED:

I decide to be ME again.


thanks.

I WONT RUN AWAY FROM MYSELF
I WILL LOVE MYSELF
LOVE OTHERS WITH MY OWN WAY

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

还不到两个月
就已经走到放弃的阶段
真不是一个self learner阿
经过这样更加知道自己是个如此简单的人
不可以做high level的人
‘失败’的人
或许从底做起还可以,一进来就比较高的职位
从高去学习我不知道怎么下手


更加确定我不会适合他
事实证明了我是个不肯去拼不会解决问题的人
就算多想回到过去
也知道这个人永远不会喜欢我这个性格

这几个月真的好脆弱
也想很多
得过且过的日子
很多时候我不想再等了
好想坚定地说:
我做不来
拍拍屁股走人

如此煎熬
觉得还不是时候放弃

心底却明白我不是这一块料
成绩好不代表任何能力阿

我还是像个机器
不求事业有任何作为
只求每天心安理得
只想安安份份

i know,
loser mind.........
:(

im a loser.
but i just wanna be happy....
and im not happy.......

我一直不断宣泄
用说的用写的
可是心里还是找不到一个出口

Friday, September 29, 2017

一直以为自己是个很刻苦耐劳的人
但原来这里不是努力就可以,还需要很多其他的能力
从没想过会这么没有方向
不知道怎么问
不知道从何了解
但这一个月我是真的学了很多
只是‘很不争气的我’此刻还是不想也不喜欢这里
‘不喜欢这样的挑战’
‘不知道如何管理’
野心不大没有经验
一开始不能接受这里的一切没有所谓的流程和种种的问题backlogsss
一直烦恼怎么改变
我要怎么改变
现在,学会接受它就是如此,目前我做不到什么
之前给自己如此大的压力
一个月都睡不着
一个月没有生活
其实我还是不能适应

只不过从一开始一直想走
到我觉得我必须给自己半年
半年后看看我的状况是怎样
才来决定吧

人生不能太顺
这是我必须过的关
say hello to no life :x

Monday, June 26, 2017

Ipoh trip❤

Had a 2d1n ipoh trip.
the last time I went there was during primary school, sooo long ago.
thanks to my friends I got to travel to this town again and this time round,
I love Ipoh food so much.

We stayed in Merton Hotel
Good location, cheap and they have a big rain shower head.

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